The Day I Danced With Jesus

By: Deana Bell, Director, Restored Marriage

It always seems that God knows exactly when "much" turns into "too much" for me. And on this day, I was in over my head, spiritually. I have noticed the attacks getting more frequent and more intense for at least a year now. For me, waking up, praying, reading Scripture and repenting is a daily ritual. On this particular day, I had done all of the aforementioned, but the enemy was determined to put me over the edge. The days previous had also been wrought with warfare and I was losing my strength and energy to fight. 
 
The time was coming close to dinner and I was thinking, in my head, what I still needed to prepare before cooking. I walked into my bedroom for a second to grab a sweater and on the radio playing in my room was the song "Light Up the Sky," by The Afters. If there is one song that has more meaning than any other, to me, it is this one. 
 
Instantly I was transported to the very first time I heard this song. I was in the parking lot of a grocery store near my husband's apartment. I had dropped off my kids at his house and I was once again living in the fear and loneliness of marital separation. It was raining hard and I needed to get out of the car to go in and pick up a few things for myself. As I reluctantly opened my car door, I heard the Lord say, "No, wait." So I shut the door and waited. Seconds later this song came on the radio….
 
"When I'm feeling all alone
With so far to go
The signs are nowhere on this road
Guiding me home
When the night is closing in
Is falling on my skin
Oh God, will you come close
 
You light, light, light up the sky 
You light up the sky to show me you are with me
And I, I, I can't deny
No I can't deny that you are right here with me
You've opened up my eyes
So I can see you all around me
You light, light, light up the sky
You light up the sky to show me that you are with me"
 
As this song played on my radio, in the car, the sky opened up before me and a huge patch of sun broke through the clouds and rain. For a moment it even stopped raining. I couldn't move a muscle. The tears streaming down my face now became a guttural healing cry that I so desperately needed. 
 
I listened to the rest of the song…
 
"When stars are hiding in the clouds
I don't feel them shining
When I can't see beyond my doubt
The silver lining
When I've almost reached the end
Like a flood you're rushing in
Your love is rushing in"
 
I looked around myself in the car and for a moment I wondered if this meant that Jesus was coming back right that moment. It was THAT holy of a moment. It was like God came right down from Heaven and said, "I love you. You matter. You matter so much to me that I wanted to show you that I could stop the rain and show you My Glory. I am with you and I will never leave you or forsake you. You can trust that my intentions for you are good and not evil."
 
I will NEVER forget the way I felt in that moment. It quite literally took my breath away.
 
That was in 2012, and since then I have heard that song many times. And every time I do, I know for CERTAIN that God is with me.
 
So on this day, in most recent history, as I entered my bedroom to get my sweater, this song stopped me dead in my tracks again. I closed my eyes to feel the presence of the Lord and I felt Him standing directly in front of me with His arms stretched wide. With my eyes still closed, I instinctively grabbed His outstretched hands. They were larger than I had imagined and as I grabbed them I looked up, in my mind, toward His face, towering above me. He was tall and His presence before me was overwhelming. I felt unworthy for and sunk my head into His chest. He lifted my head and said, "Dance with me."
 
Gladly, I let Him take my hands and slow dance to this beautiful song. With my eyes still closed, I felt His warmth around me as I laid my head on His chest. Everything came rushing back. Everything about the very first time I heard this song. As Jesus and I danced together, I felt calm and peaceful and loved beyond measure. I flipped flopped between feeling completely unworthy of this moment and not wanting it to end. 
 
As reality beckoned, I walked back out of my bedroom with a renewed sense of purpose, joy and strength. Just what I needed at that moment. Just exactly right on time, He was. Just the perfect reminder that He will "light up the sky" for me to let me know that He is with me.
 
Moments later I was back in my kitchen, starting to prepare dinner. I instinctively looked for my phone and saw that it, too, was lighting up. I picked up the phone and got, yet another, notification that He was with me. An amazon.com notification that my teen daughter wanted to order something and needed my approval. I clicked on the link and was shocked to tears. My daughter, wanted to place an order for a book called "Seeking God in the Psalms," by Boyd Bailey. Without hesitation I approved the purchase and thanked God himself for not only sending Jesus to dance with me, but giving me confirmation that He is working in my daughter's heart as well.