Now What Lord? - Part 2

When I came home from the doctor visit where my pregnancy was confirmed, my husband did not share my joy. The devil had stolen his joy. I couldn’t believe it! I also started noticing that my husband was paying special attention to our very young and single secretary. We hired her right out of high school and encouraged her to go to church with us. We wanted her to join the youth group but she said she wasn’t ready for that. Now I was seeing that Satan had set a trap for the two of them.

The following year and a half were the hardest of my life. Only my relationship with Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit carried me through. I questioned Jesus because I didn’t understand – how could I? His answer came a long time later with this verse: “If God is in control, why try to understand everything along the way?” Prov. 20:24 Of course, I wanted to understand, but God was getting me to trust Him and focus on Him even if I didn’t understand. That was a big test!

Even in the difficult times, God took care of me and our children. My husband admitted he could no longer attend church nor take communion. Pastoral help was offered to both him and our secretary, but they refused. He started saying to me that he didn’t love me anymore and that I should just leave him and move to the states. He was so messed up. I clung to, “When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You.” Psa.56:3

We had the twins dedicated to the Lord earlier, but, when they were ten months old and I was seven months pregnant, my husband asked the hospital to find another couple to adopt them. He was very serious about giving them up and so my heart broke because those two babies had become a part of me.

When a couple came to see the twins and start legal proceedings to adopt them and the reality of my loss set in, I had two evil experiences. The first was a wave of hatred I felt toward my husband for doing this. Thank God I repented quickly because I knew that I had to forgive him. The second was an evil vision of myself that I quickly recognized as coming straight from hell. The vision was that, as a result of this terrible heartache piled on top of all my other heartaches, I would lose my mind. I had a mental picture of myself eight months pregnant in a black maternity outfit, running out of the house and down the sidewalk, screaming. I rebuked that vision and refused it. Thankfully, I had learned how to do spiritual warfare! I worked hard to be happy for the childless couple when they came to take the twins home as the new parents.

Just a few weeks later, our miracle daughter arrived. My husband joined me at the hospital for her birth, but when it came time to dedicate her at church, I had to do that alone. Lord, this is so hard. Did you notice the tears of the pastor and the whole congregation as he prayed first for our baby’s daddy? Please hear the prayers of this congregation!

Jeremiah 32:27 & 17 “I am the Lord, the God of all mankind; is there anything too hard for Me? O Lord God! You have made the heavens and the earth by Your great power; nothing is too hard for You!”

When our daughter was six months old and our son was six years old, my husband sent us back to Pennsylvania to live with my parents. My father-in-law then arranged for us to have his rental house, where we remained for the next 25 years. I was surprised with a wonderful house in a great school district. I felt undeserving of such great parental care, but it was there that I learned to know Jehovah Jireh as my provider!

In that house, my heart began to mend as God sent women, in my same situation, to me so that I could share with them what I had learned. I had a vision of a group of women, along with an elder couple from my church, gathered in my living room. With this vision, I received affirmation from my pastor and elders to hold meetings every Friday evening. God was starting a ministry!

This ministry group support was all new to us. We learned as we went along, sharing scriptures and praying for one another and for our prodigal spouses. After two years, we discovered a similar national ministry. They, too, were new at this type of meeting, but we shared together and learned that we were getting the same message and leading of the Holy Spirit. Joining that ministry enabled us to receive Bible curriculum for healing and spiritual growth. It was truly amazing! God was calling all of us to stand firm and true to the covenant marriage vows we had made – no matter what our spouses were doing.

I told my husband what I was doing and said my door would always be open for him to return to the covenant promises that he made before God and me. God, help him to make godly decisions. Lord, as Ezekiel prophesied to Your wayward people about their hearts of stone and Your giving them new hearts of love, that is how I pray for my one-flesh husband. Sprinkle clean water on his heart and give him a new heart of love and put Your Spirit within him with right desires and obedience to You. Ezek. 36:24-28

My husband has not yet returned home, but that is in God’s hands. Even without “so-called Biblical grounds” for a divorce, about seven years later he did that and today has another family. Why I still stand is a whole other story. I have such peace and I am happy and contented in the work at hand that God has for me in supporting people whose marriages are under attack. I hope that peace shows in my life. I believe that I am obedient, surrendering all to Him. All praise belongs to God as we see more and more couples reconcile!

Jesus, You have been so faithful to me all these 42 years. Thank-You so much!

My “rhema” word…(when we receive a specific word from the Lord that applies to us individually.)

"I will maintain my love to him forever, and my covenant with him will never fail. "
"I will not violate my covenant or alter what my lips have uttered "
-Psalms 89: 28, 34

Disclaimer from Covenant Keepers, Inc:
“We have no desire to bring condemnation to those already divorced or remarried; however, we believe individuals committed to the permanency of marriage should have an option in the Body of Christ.” This option is called “an alternative to divorce”.

Author: Starr Lichty